Unleashed in Disneyworld
by Bressa W
Summary: The first of a series of YYHLOTR crossovers! Characters inc: Hiei, Aragorn, and a hint of Legolas. Sara and Faythe run wild in Disneyworld, complete with kidnapping schemes! Oh, yeah, and funnel cakes...R&R!
1. 1 Love, Kidnapping, and Funnel Cakes

_Disclaimer: My friend, Sara, and I own Sara and Faythe (duh), the little boy and his mother, the rent-a-cops, and the crazy French guy. We do not own Aragorn or Hiei. We wish we did._

_Author's Note: I don't really know how to explain how this story happened…I guess I'd say it all started when Sara came back from Disneyworld after a trip with the band and wrote me a note, the first bit of this story. I wrote back, not as a note, but as though I, too, was writing a story. And thus, history (at least, for us) was made. Our lives now revolve around this story and its two sequels. No matter where Sara and Faythe and their friends go, though, I will always think of the original Disneyworld story with a tear in my eye. sniff Man, I love this one… I hope you do, too. Another note: When you see things written in bold, besides the chapter titles, that means that I wrote that segment. The un-bolded text means Sara wrote that segment. _

**The Adventures of Sara and Faythe**

**1. Unleashed in Disneyworld**

**By Sara & Bressa W. (Faythe)**

**Chapter One**

**Love, Kidnapping, and Funnel Cakes**

Sara looked up at the crying kids in front of her.

"Shut up!" she shouted. The kids stopped and looked at her. One kid sniffed and Sara glared at him.

**After a few minutes of cowering in fear of Sara, the kids were approached by their parents, who shot Sara rude glances of their own. She started after them, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.**

"Sara, don't try it." Sara turned and glared at Hiei.

"But…"

**"No." Sara hung her head and followed Hiei. They walked back through the Magic Kingdom, away from the Mickey Mouse Parade.** Faythe walked over to them.

"What did she do now?"

"I didn't do anything!"

Hiei snorted. "She…" he was interrupted when a group of screaming kids ran up to them.

"Ahhh!" Sara shouted into their faces. "How do you like it?"

**It took both Hiei and Faythe to restrain her.**

**"Let it go, Sara! Guz fraba!" Faythe shouted.**

**"Guz…fraba…" Sara chanted. She started to go into a trance, but jerked out of it. "That doesn't work. I'm gonna kill those kids!"**

She grabbed Hiei's sword and charged. Faythe grabbed her from behind and pulled her backwards. She took the sword.

Sara looked at Faythe, then at the sword, and finally at Hiei. "Hey…"

**"As much as I want you to, don't stab her," advised Hiei. "Too messy."**

**Faythe winced as Sara moved to put the sword away. "Don't kill me!" she cried out.**

**"Faythe, why would I kill you? You're my BFF. I can't just _kill_ you."** Faythe smiled. Sara looked around. "Oh my God! The Tunnel of Love! I've always wanted to see what that was like! Come on!" She grabbed Faythe and Hiei and ran towards the ride.

**"You won't go on without me, will you?" said a familiar voice behind them. It sounded like…**

**"Aragorn!" Faythe cried. "What are you doing here?"**

**Aragorn hugged her and gave her a quick kiss. "You went to Florida. I've never been to Florida." He looked around the area of the Magic Kingdom they were in. "Does the whole state look like this?"**

Sara smacked him upside the head. "Moron."

He glared at her. "It was a perfectly legitimate question."

Sara shook her head. "No, it wasn't."

"Stop arguing!" Everyone looked at Faythe. "Thank you. Let's just go in."

**The Tunnel of Love was not exactly a typical tunnel. It was lit with a soft pink light and the water was pink, as well. From the ceiling hung red hearts and white cupid cutouts. Painted on the walls were silhouettes of lovers in various romantic and exotic locations.**

**"This is weird," said Aragorn. "Why are we here?"**

**"Because it's _romantic_!" Faythe exclaimed. She stopped a heart-shaped boat and got inside, pulling Aragorn after her. "Come on, Sara! You and Hiei can get in the next boat." She winked and their boat pushed off.**

Sara was busy watching a "romantic" pose. "I agree with Aragorn. This isn't right. Maybe we should leave." She stated to walk out, slipped on an ice cube and fell into the boat. "Hiei!" she cried out. He ran after her and jumped into the boat.

**Sara could see Faythe's boat ahead. Where were they? It didn't look like they were still in the boat. Then, it dawned on her why they didn't seem to still be in the boat. Color crept up into her cheeks.**

**"What do you suppose they're doing?" asked Hiei.**

**"Let's hope it's not WHO they're doing," Sara muttered. She looked around and was taken off guard when Hiei slid next to her and put his arm over her shoulder. She relaxed and laid her head on his shoulder, just enjoying the moment.**

Suddenly, Faythe popped up and looked at them. She started laughing. "Look at the two love birds!"

Sara stood up. "You shouldn't be talking." She took a step forward and her boat tipped over.

**"Sara! Hiei!" Faythe screamed. She muttered something under her breath and the water parted where Sara and Hiei were. Aragorn pulled them into their boat.**

**Sara coughed up some of the pink water. "Ugh! It tastes like lemonade!"**

"I hate pink." They looked at Hiei.

Sara frowned. "I'm cold." She snuggled up to Hiei. "I have my own personal space heater!" Hiei glared at her.

There weren't any more incidents on the ride. Faythe and Aragorn, however, kept whispering to each other.

**"When?" Aragorn cried suddenly. He looked like he was panicking. **

**"Not yet. But soon," Faythe assured, patting his arm.**

**"Um…what are you talking about?" Sara asked. "I feel left out!" She had a puppy dog look on her face. "Tell me, please!"**

**"You already know."**

"Refresh my memory."

"You know…"

Sara's eyes got wide. "Oh, yeah!"

Hiei looked around at them. "Now I feel left out."

Sara rubbed his head. "I'll tell you in the room."

"Stop rubbing my head."

She abruptly stopped and blinked. "Here we sit. In a boat. Going down the river. Through the Tunnel of Love." This got her odd looks from not only the others, but also from the guy helping people out of the boat. He smiled and helped Faythe and Sara out, kissing their hands.

**At once, Anduril (Aragorn's sword) was unsheathed and Hiei's eyes flashed. The "French" guy who'd been stupid enough to court the girls screamed and ran for his life, shouting something about crazy soldiers and demons.**

**"Honey, I think he's gone," Faythe said to Aragorn, patting his arm. Gently, she took away the sword and re-sheathed it. "There. Now, who wants to ride Space Mountain?"**

**"Sure."**

**"All right."**

**"Um…"**

**Everyone turned to Hiei. "'Um…?' What kind of answer is that?" Aragorn shouted.**

**Sara hit him on the back of the head. "It's a perfectly fine answer." She turned to Hiei. "If you don't want…" She didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she grabbed Hiei and took off like the devil was after her. **

**Faythe and Aragorn turned and their eyes widened. "Oh…" The "French" guy was running towards them, followed by two security guards.**

**"Um, okay, let's go!" Faythe shouted.**

**But Aragorn stood firm. "I can take them!" he shouted. "I've fought at the head of many a war, I can take two security rent-a-cops!"**

**"Yes, dear, I know," Faythe replied, trying not to sound panicky. "Which is why we have to go. NOW!" **

**They ran after Sara and Hiei, but Faythe tripped over her shoelaces and fell. "Go on without me!" she cried.**

**But Aragorn scooped her off the ground and said, "Like hell I will."**

One of the security guards began yelling for them to stop, but Aragorn only ran faster. Suddenly, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him into a shop. The security guards ran by. Aragorn set Faythe down and bent over, trying to catch his breath.

Faythe, however, walked over to Sara (who, by the way, was the one that pulled them into the shop). "You just left us there! How could you?"

Sara glared down at her. "I figured Aragorn could take them. He is, after all, a king."

**"A very winded king right now," he replied, breathing heavily. "Faythe weighs more than Gimli's armor when you carry her like that!" He sighed and sat down. "I wounded have been this winded if you'd just let me kill them."**

**"I wasn't about to do that. Violence is wrong."**

**Hiei looked up from the book he was reading about the "Small World" ride. "It is?"**

**"Yes. Very, very wrong," Faythe scolded.**

**"Could have fooled me." Hiei resumed reading.**

**Sara sighed. "Maybe the Tunnel of Love was a bad idea, after all."**

**"You think?" Faythe retorted.**

**"Not usually." Aragorn didn't see the book fly towards his head. "Ow!" The book landed in his lap. "One Hundred and One Ways to Cook A Turkey…And Then Some. Who thinks these titles up?" **

**Before anyone could answer, Faythe smiled and put her two cents in. "Let's go on Space Mountain now."**

**Hiei paled visibly at that. Sara grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I'll be right next to you."**

**"Which may or may not be a good thing."**

**It dawned on Faythe suddenly. "Hiei, are you afraid of heights?"**

**Sara whacked her upside the head. "No, idiot! He was dropped off a cliff, remember? You want him to ride Space MOUNTAIN! Where are cliffs, Faythe?"**

**Faythe hung her head. "On mountains."**

**"Duh."**

**Hiei went to check if the coast was clear. "Let's ride the freaking mountain," he said.**

**"Forward march!" Aragorn cried suddenly. "Let's move out, troops!" At the weird looks, he said, "Sorry. Got kinda carried away. Thought I was back in Minas Tirith for a minute."**

Sara snorted. "See, Faythe? You are so cruel to him! He's homesick!"

"Sara, I'm not homesick."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Sara sighed. Aragorn took the fun out of everything.

They were all standing in line for Space Mountain. "This is a huge line!" Aragorn exclaimed.

Faythe waved her had dismissively. "I've seen worse. She turned to Sara. "Are you excited, Sara?"

Sara gave her a small smile. One the outside, she looked calm and collected. ON the inside, she was terrified! She didn't want to admit it, but heights scared her. A lot.

**"I think Sara's the one who's afraid of heights," remarked Aragorn. He gave Sara look that was both creepy and reassuring. "I feel for you."**

**"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Sara shouted. She made a big, dramatic speech about jumping to conclusions. By the time she was done, they were almost to the platform.**

**Hiei looked at the greenish people coming off the ride. "They didn't go on like that, did they?"**

**"Nope!" Faythe exclaimed. "The first time I rode this, I barfed for a half hour straight!"**

Sara looked at her and sort of turned green. "Can I just sit this one out?"

**"NO WAY!" Faythe shouted. "You have to go on this! The barfing is something you MUST experience!"**

**"Fine!" Sara shouted back. "Let's go!"**

**It was a good thing that they were next, because Sara shoved up to the barrier and planted herself in the front of the line before she could change her mind.**

**"May the Valar protect you if this brings us to harm," Aragorn warned Faythe.**

Right in front of the door, Sara stopped. Faythe gave her a push, but she wouldn't move.

"What's the hold up?"

"C'mon! Move it!" People behind them were starting to get angry. Faythe pushed Sara again and she stumbled forward. She got on the car, not realizing all the other seats were full. When the car started to move, she freaked out. She looked behind her just in time to see Faythe and the others get on the next car. Sara gulped and quickly shut her eyes.

"That was soooo cool!" Faythe shouted as they got off.

Aragorn looked at Hiei. "Are you all right?"

"Of course. Come on, we need to find Sara." Sara was sitting on a bench, and shaking terribly.

**"There she is!" Faythe exclaimed. She noticed how pale Sara was. "Hey, are you all right?"**

**Sara shook her head slowly. It looked like she was afraid that if she shook her head too hard, she'd throw up. "I-I got on the w-wrong car," she said shakily.**

**Hiei put his arm around her consolingly. "There, there," he said. "You're all right. I nearly threw up, too."**

**Sara sniffed. "Really?"**

**"Yeah, really!" Aragorn said. "He was screaming like a little girl!"**

**Hiei glared at Aragorn. "Thanks, Aragorn," he said sarcastically. "She wanted to hear that."**

**"Actually, it made me feel better," said Sara. She stood up and started down the stairs off the platform. "Thanks, guys."**

**"Yeah, whatever, blah, blah, blah, nice talk," Faythe said. Her voice suggested that the consoling process annoyed and bored her. "Let's eat. I'm starved."**

**They went to the café on the parade route where Faythe and Sara had marched earlier. Atop the roof was a giant pair of Mickey Mouse ears. Sickeningly sweet and childish calliope music poured from speakers **

**"Are you sure you want to eat food here?" Aragorn asked Faythe.**

**Faythe nodded enthusiastically. "This place has the best funnel cakes."**

**"What's a funnel cake?" the others asked in unison.**

**"None of you have ever had a funnel cake?" They shook their heads. "Never?" Heads shake. "Never ever?"**

**"NO! Faythe, we've never had an F-ing funnel cake!" Hiei shouted.**

**"But…but…how? How could you live without the sugary, dough goodness?" Faythe was shell-shocked.**

Sara snorted. "They probably aren't that exciting."

Aragorn looked at her. "Do you know what they are?"

Sara shook her head. "Never heard of them."

"Well, then," Faythe said, clapping her hands together. "Let's go get one."

Faythe had talked Aragorn into sharing a funnel cake with her. He took a bite and smiled. "This is pretty good." He looked over at Sara and Hiei. "What do you guys think?"

**Hiei took a bite of the doughy cake. He chewed for a moment, then a look of complete and total bliss came over his face. He smiled and his eyes lit up. "Sara. Eat. Funnel. Cake!" he said. He turned to Faythe. "Can I have this?"**

**"NO WAY!" Aragorn shouted.**

Sara frowned. "I don't see what the big deal is…"

Faythe frowned at her. "You haven't had any."

Sara sighed and took a bite. She chewed and immediately started choking. **"Too sweet!" she gagged. "Need garbage can!"**

**Faythe gave her a garbage can and Sara spit out the funnel cake. "So, I take it you didn't enjoy it?" Faythe asked timidly. Sara glared at her.**

**"Her loss," said Aragorn. He pulled out a wad of cash. "Who wants another?"**

**After five more funnel cakes, they were completely stuffed. Sara, being the only one who didn't like the funnel cake, ate her weight in Dippin' Dots.**

**"Well, I'm stuffed," said Aragorn. He belched and attempted to stand up.**

**"I vote we go back to the room," said Sara.**

**"Fine," Hiei replied.**

**Faythe groaned.** "I think that last cake did me in."

Sara sighed and handed her some water. "The stuff I put up with."

Hiei smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "What would we do without you?"

"Crawl into a hole and die." Faythe burped and stood up. "I'm ready if you guys are."

This was greeted with a chorus of "Alright."

**They waddled back to the hotel and rode the escalator up to their adjoining rooms. Sara and Hiei were in one, and Faythe and Aragorn were in the other. For now, they all gathered in Sara and Hiei's room for a game of** B.S. They all sat in a circle on one of the beds. Faythe shuffled the deck and dealt the cards.

Just as the game began, there was a knock at the door. "Room service!"

Sara and Faythe looked at each other. Sara ran to answer the door. "WE didn't order any room service."

The man at the door smiled. "I know."

**Sara's eyes went wide as she realized who was at the door. She tried to call out, but her kidnapper clamped a hand over her mouth.**

**"Don't say a word," he said. From somewhere in his jacket, he pulled out a taser and hit Sara with it.**

**"Her, Sara! It's your turn!" Faythe shouted.**

**"Where is she?" asked Hiei after a few minutes.**

**"She probably went down to the pool," replied Aragorn. "Ha! Bullshit, Faythe!"**

"Why would she go down to the pool?"

Faythe shrugged. "To meet cute boys."

"What?" Hiei jumped up.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "Calm down. She probably went to go get ice. She'll be back in a minute." Just then, a brick came flying through the window and hit Hiei on the head.

**"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his head. "What the hell was that?"**

**"A brick," Faythe replied. "Oh, hey, there's a not on it."**

**The note read like this:**

**_If you evur want 2 c Sara again, send $1,ooo, ooo 2 the hotel lobby 2 PM 2morrow_**

"**We know one thing," Aragorn said. "He can't spell."**

**"Or she," Hiei said. He looked genuinely distraught. "We have to find her."**


	2. 2 Jaques

_Disclaimer: I don't own Disneyworld, Aragorn or Hiei. If you see anything else that I don't own that I forgot about, I say now that I don't own it. R&R!_

**Chapter Two**

**Jacques**

MEANWHILE…WITH SARA

"You are sooo lucky the guys can't find you. They are so going to kick your ass!" Her kidnapper slapped her across the face. Sara glared at him for a moment before a question came to her. "Why'd you take me anyways? The guys don't have a million dollars! You won't get the money!"

**Her kidnapper shrugged. "It's fun to see them seat. I don't want the money."**

**"OOOkay…so, why did you kidnap me?"**

**He didn't reply, but started down the escalator. "Hold my hand, Sara," he whispered. "Make it look good." She clasped his hand and squeezed, as hard as she could until he yelped from the pain. "What are you doing, Sara?" he shouted.**

**She grinned and replied, "Holding your hand."**

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and smiled at her.

"What's your name?"

He blinked. "Um…Jacques."

Sara snorted and froze. "You're the crazy French guy!"

**He looked hurt and said, "Crazy is such a harsh word. I prefer 'eccentric.'"**

**Sara snorted. "Crazy French guy. So, are you obsessed with me or something?"**

**"Obsessed is such a harsh word. I prefer 'infatuated.'"**

"Uh huh. Well, I prefer the term…" She didn't get to finish. They had reached his car.

"Alright, get in the car."

Sara shook her head. "No." She hit him and took off running down the street.

**"Sacra Bleu!" Jacques screamed, running after her. He almost got her, but she gave him a good kick to the** knee and he fell over, screaming bloody murder. Sara almost made it to the road before something punctured her neck. She groaned and fell over. A black van pulled up and she was loaded into the van.

BACK WITH THE OTHERS

Faythe lay out the paper on the bed. "Okay. We need to make a list of her enemies."

"Do demons count?"

Faythe nodded. "That leaves us with…everyone."

Aragorn gave her a forlorn look. "This might take a while."

**"Well, let's see here…there's, um, that one guy," Faythe started-badly.**

**"You mean the fifty demons she's stopped from taking over the world?" Hiei asked.**

**"Yep. Plus…oh! That French guy!" Faythe shouted.**

**"What French guy?" asked Hiei. He stood up and was looking very frustrated.**

"The French guy from the Tunnel of Love."

Aragorn's eyes went wide. "You don't think he…"

Faythe shrugged. "He could have. I don't see why, though."

"Maybe he knows her."

Faythe smiled. "Maybe he's in love with her."

They both looked at Hiei, whose eye was twitching. He growled. "For his sake, he better not be."

WITH SARA…AND THE FRENCH GUY

"I already told you! No! There is nothing going on!" After a few more minutes of conversation, Jacques hung up the phone. He smiled at Sara. "My parole officer. He wanted to know what I was doing."

Sara raised an eyebrow. "Parole officer? Out of morbid curiosity, what did you do?"

**He waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, I stole a little girl."**

**"You _kidnapped_ a _child_?" Sara said in disbelief.**

**"I did not kill the child!" Jacques shouted. "I've just always wanted a little girl, and I have no wife." There was a tear in his crazy, madman eyes.**

**"Aw, that's so sweet," Sara cooed.**

**Jacques sniffed. "Really?"**

**Sara punched him in the face and broke his nose. "No, not really." She got out of the vehicle and ran as fast as she could.**

**WITH THE OTHERS**

**"Okay, so, I'll go downstairs and search the lobby," Aragorn said. "They may not have left yet."**

**"But they could be long gone by now, too," Hiei said. "I don't want to rely on 'ifs' and 'buts.'"**

**"Whatever we do, we'd better do it now," Faythe replied. Her face was dark and her tone (for once) was serious.**

**They sat in a thick, heavy silence for a few minutes. Then, Hiei said, "We're wasting time."**

**Aragorn snapped out of the reverie he was in. "Yeah! Let's get something accomplished before Sara's organs are ripped out and put in jars with Formaldehyde as trophies."**

**Hiei and Faythe glared at him. "Okay, let's roll," Faythe said.**

**"You realize that's exactly what they heroes on that hijacked flight said right before they crashed in a Pennsylvania field and died horrible, fiery deaths?" Hiei said.**

**"For Sara, I'm willing to take that chance," Faythe replied. "Now, excuse me while I go throw up."**

When she came back out, they all headed down to the lobby. After a few minutes of questioning the employees and other guests, something came to Faythe.

"Hiei, why don't you use your Jagon?"

Hiei looked at Faythe, totally surprised that she had a good idea. He was about to take the ward off when Aragorn stopped him. "Too many people around."

**Hiei nodded. "Elevator." They headed out towards an empty elevator and rode up and down while Hiei used his Jagon to search for Sara. "She's with the French guy," he said. "And I don't believe they're very far away."**

Faythe clapped her hands together. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"


	3. 3 Dennis

_Disclaimer: We own Sara, Faythe, Dennis, Jacques, the vagabond, and the mob of Disney employees. Hiei, Aragorn, Middle-earth, Pocky, Epcot, and the Animal Kingdom are owned by various other estates._

_Author's Note: I had to add the Pocky bit because that's really how Sara gets when she has the stuff. Her house could be fire-bombed while she was eating Pocky and she'd never notice. Also, the Middle-earth bit was a necessity. Don't ask me why._

**Chapter Three**

**Dennis**

BACK WITH SARA

Sara was lost. She looked around. Maybe "lost" was an understatement. She was surrounded by odd buildings on one side of the street. The other side was a lake. It didn't look like Disney anymore.

**"Oh, shit," she muttered. "Where the hell AM I?"**

**An old vagabond approached her. "You are in Epcot," he said, showing three yellowed teeth in his wrinkled skull. "This is the Ghetto."**

**"And…are you a Disney employee?"**

**"SHH! No one's supposed to know that!" the vagabond hissed. "To the other employees, I'm allowed to live here because I feed the ducks."**

**"You feed the ducks?" Sara repeated. "I don't have time for this. Do you know how to get to the main hotel?"**

**"Take a left at the Jupiter exhibit, pas the African bathrooms, to the Tunnel of Love." He smiled again. "You DO know where the Tunnel of Love is, don't you?"**

Sara shivered. "Don't remind me." She headed towards the exit. Along the way, she stopped at Japan to get Pocky and a few other things. So there she sat, on a bench in front of Epcot, looking at her key chain, eating Pocky.

**"Sara!" shouted Faythe, who saw her sitting on the bench.**

**"Mon Cherie!" Jacques shouted, running to Sara.**

**Faythe and Jacques raced to Sara, who was still lost in the goodness of Pocky.**

**"Mm…" Sara moaned. "This stuff is so good…"**

**"Sara! Come here!" Faythe yelled. She waved her arms wildly, trying to catch Sara's attention.**

**Sara ran out of Pocky. "Oh, crap!" she shouted. She went back to Japan for more.** Jacques ran after her, but Faythe stuck her foot out and tripped him. He fell on his knee and screamed in pain.

Sara whirled around. "Faythe? Jacques?"

Faythe ran up to her. However, before she could say anything, Sara started rambling about Pocky and Japan. "Sara, slow down! Breathe!"

Hiei and Aragorn came over. "Hiei, why do you have to love the crazy one?"

"She isn't cra-"

Sara shoved the key chain she bought in Japan in his face. "Isn't it cute?"

Hiei's eye began twitching. "It's…me…"

"I know! I got it over there!" Sara pointed to Japan across the lake. "C'mon!" She grabbed Hiei's hand and began weaving between people. Faythe grabbed Aragorn and followed.

"I don't know whether to be insulted or buy it."

"I'd pick the buying it option. But that's just me."

Faythe came up behind the two boys who were looking at swords. More specifically, a duplicate of Hiei's sword. "Hey, where's Sara?"

"Oh, God, not again!"

"Sara!" Aragorn spun and ran right into Sara.

She smiled at him. "What?" Hiei gave Sara a hug, like if he let her go, she'd disappear. She pried him off and shoved a piece of Pocky in his mouth before running out the store. The others followed.

**"Sara!" Hiei called. "Don't get lost!"**

**Sara looked back at him and stuck out her tongue. "I know where I'm going, Hiei!"**

**Hiei sighed and took after her.**

**Faythe and Aragorn had still been in the shop. A sign reading:**

**-_Coming Soon_-**

**Middle-Earth!**

**Had enthralled Aragorn and frozen him to the spot. "Froooodoooo…" he murmured. It seemed to Faythe that he was in a trance. "Neeeed…Froooodoooo…"**

**She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Honey? Are you all right?"**

**"Miiiidle…Eaaaarth…" Aragorn was drooling.**

**"A? Sweetie, snap out of it!" Faythe whapped him on the head over and over again. Finally, she realized that his trance was caused by the flyer. She tore it down and ate it. "There," she said with her mouth full. Faythe swallowed the paper. "Is that better?"**

**Aragorn shook his head. "Whoa," he said. "That was weird. Why does my head hurt so bad?"**

**"Because I was hitting you," Faythe replied. "The flyer I just ate was putting you in a trance."**

**"Oh."**

**"Yup. So, let's go find Hiei and Sara."**

They caught up with them in America. Sara was shaking her head. "I can't believe there's an America. You could walk out and look around, and there it is! America!"

Hiei started shaking her. "Breathe, Sara. It's okay."

"No, it isn't."

An employee came over to them. "Is everything all right, miss?"

Sara whirled on the poor guy. **"No, everything is NOT okay! My friends here were in Japan, and they saw a flyer for MIDDLE-EARTH!" she shouted. "Why the hell is Middle-earth coming to Epcot?" **

**The employee winced at her rage. "I'm sorry! We got the rights from the Tolkien estate! It's not illegal!" **

**Aragorn moved his mouth wordlessly and looked indignant. Faythe reserved emotion and stared blankly at the man. Hiei didn't care.**

**Sara made her opinion known. "You can't just steal a person's home!" she shouted. "You don't just buy the Shire!"**

**The man backed away slowly before turning and running full out. Faythe snorted. "What's his problem?"**

**Sara sighed and patted Aragorn's head. "Sorry about Middle-earth, A."**

**"It's not REALLY Middle-earth, anyways," he replied. "It may even be an interesting exhibit."**

Hiei coughed and everyone turned to him. "Are you three ready to leave?"

Faythe nodded. "Of course. Where should we go next?"

Sara got a crazed look on her face. "The Animal Kingdom."

This was followed by three objections. Sara sniffed a bit and looked down at the ground. "Don't do that, Sara."

She looked at Hiei. "Please? I want to see the animals."

Hiei sighed. "Fine."

"Yes!"

**"Are there oliphaunts there?" asked Aragorn.**

**"Yes, but we call them 'elephants,'" Faythe replied.**

**"That's weird," Aragorn objected. "I'm going to keep calling them oliphaunts."**

**"Whatever," said Hiei, rolling his eyes. "Are we going or not?"**

**"Uh, yeah!" Sara shouted. She started off.**

**"Wait!" Aragorn shouted. "Do you remember what happened last time Sara chose where we were going?"**

**They all paused and thought about the Tunnel of Love mess. "Well, anyways," Sara replied. "The Space Mountain thing was worse."**

"That's because you went on it by yourself."

Sara shuddered. "Don't remind me."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, came shouting. "There she is!"

"It's the crazy girl!"

"Get her!"

Faythe and Sara looked at each other and took off running, followed by at least three cops. Aragorn looked at Hiei. "Should we follow them?"

**Hiei shrugged. "Do you mind jail time?"**

**"Uh, yeah!"**

**"Then run!" They ran as fast as possible, which was pretty fast, to the Animal Kingdom. Sara pulled them behind a very obese couple to hide. The rent-a-cops and Disney employees (including Jacques) ran past.**

**"Can we get out of here?" Faythe asked. "These people aren't too pleasing to the nose."**

**"You mean they smell?" Aragorn replied sarcastically. His nose was pinched between his fingers.**

**Sara sighed. This wasn't her day. First the kids, then Jacques, now smelly fat people. And let's not forget Space Mountain. "Let's get moving," she said. They entered the Animal Kingdom to the sound of tropical, African birds and drums.**

**"Where's that coming from?" asked Aragorn.**

**Faythe pointed to the speaker that was hidden behind a tree. "There," she said.**

**"Let's go on the safari!" shouted Sara. She grabbed Hiei's hand and ran towards the train of vehicles that took you out into the "wilderness of the Serengeti." Giraffes grazed on trees with hinges and flamingos dozed in pools of water too blue to be natural. Their tour guide, who announced himself as Dennis, took up a microphone and began his usual speal.**

**"Here, we see the fragile ecological system of the African plains," he said. "Here, lions eat antelope, lion dies and becomes ground and grass that antelope eat. Even the smallest creatures are connected." The _Lion King_ song, "The Circle of Life", played over the speakers.**

**"Wow, this is cool," said Sara.**

**Hiei cocked an eyebrow. "It is?"**

**"Yes. Very cool. I love animals. WAY more than people," Sara replied. She smiled happily and curled up next to Hiei.**

"What about demons?" he asked.

Sara looked at him and blinked. "It depends on the demon. Certain demons I like better than animals…others, not so much."

He nodded in agreement.

Dennis was droning on about termites. "They eat the tree and create a mound."

**Meanwhile, Faythe and Aragorn were discussing whatever it was they had been discussing in the Tunnel of Love. One again, it was making Aragorn very nervous.**

**Faythe tried to console him. "Honey, it's okay. You wanted this to happen, remember?"**

**"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I can't be nervous."**

**Dennis was now on spiders. "Certain African species of spider eat their mate after mating. The female nearly always devours the male, usually starting with the head."**

**Hiei turned around to Aragorn. "Good thing we're not spiders, eh?"**

**Sara snorted. "I may eat you anyways."**

**Faythe rolled her eyes and raised her hand. "Um-Dennis?" she called.**

**"Yes, ma'am, in the back, do you have a question?" Dennis asked politely.**

**"Yeah. Why do the trees have hinges?"**

**Dennis blushed red. He muttered something incoherent under his breath. Then, he said louder, "I'm not really sure, ma'am, but I'm sure it has something to do with the giraffes."**

**"The giraffes, Dennis?" Faythe said. "Are you sure."**

**"Pretty sure, ma'am. Now, can we get back to the tour?"**

**"Of course, Dennis. Go right ahead," Faythe replied.**

**Dennis went on for a few minutes, but Faythe raised her hand again. "Yes, ma'am?" Dennis asked.**

**"I know why the trees have hinges," Faythe said.**

**"Why did you ask me then?" Dennis said loudly.**

**"I wasn't sure if you knew."**

Sara sighed. "Ignore her, Dennis! There's something wrong with her! She has a few screws loose." She turned to Faythe. "The poor guy is trying to do his job. He doesn't know about the trees! He probably never will!" Dennis looked relieved and finished the tour.

At the end of the tour, Sara went over and began talking with Dennis. "I'm sorry about my friend. She doesn't think sometimes."

**Dennis shook his head. "No. She thinks too much." Sara laughed. "If you cared so much, why didn't you stop her right away? Why'd you wait until I was at my wit's end?"**

**"Because you talked for too long about the termites."**

**Hiei went over to Sara from the train car. "We have to go now."**

**Dennis looked puzzled, almost hurt to see that Sara was with someone. Jacques, who had been on the tour, walked up behind Dennis.**

**"She's great, isn't she?" Jacques said.**

**"Yeah," Dennis sighed dreamily.**

**Jacques smirked. "I saw her first.** I kidnapped her."

Dennis looked at him, his eyes wide. "Really? Why?"

Jacques shrugged. "I love her." He looked at Dennis. "Let's take her again."

And so, they began making plans.

Hiei and Sara had had an argument and were not speaking to each other. **Faythe was moody and Aragorn was jumpy. What had started out as a good-kind-of-weird day was rapidly snowballing into a bad-kind-of-weird day.**

**Faythe smirked. "I vote we go back to the pool and lounge around."**

**"Where!" screamed Aragorn, who obviously was not reacting to anything Faythe had said.**

**"I'll go if Hiei doesn't," Sara replied in an angry tone.**

**"Fine by me. I really don't want to be around you right now."**

**"Oh, yeah! Like I want to spend time with you!" Sara shouted back. "I don't know why I ever agreed to marry you! You probably drugged me!"**

**"You were drugged? I proposed! You're crazy!" he shouted. "Freaking crazy! You flirt with other guys, you get kidnapped, and who saves your ass? I DO!" Hiei's face was red. He was breathing heavily and his hands were balled into fists. Nonetheless, he was restraining himself nicely.**

**Sara looked as though she was about to explode, but she didn't. She cried. And she ran away from Faythe, Aragorn, and Hiei.**

**"Should we follow her?" Aragorn asked.**

**Hiei scoffed. "Yeah, right. Let her get kidnapped. I'm not gonna be her demon in shining armor anymore." He walked in the opposite direction from Sara at a fast pace. Faythe and Aragorn had to struggle to catch up. "Why do I care?" **Hiei said to himself.

He jumped when Aragorn answered. "Because you love her. You should go apologize."

"Apologize? She should apologize to me! I've risked my life for her hundreds of times!"

Sara sighed and blew her nose. She hadn't meant to blow up at Hiei. He just got on her nerves sometimes. "Why do I care? He deserved it."

"Of course he did."

Sara turned towards the speaker. "Dennis!"

He smiled. "In the flesh. Now, what's the problem?"

Sara sighed again. "Hiei and I got into a fight."

"Want to tell me about it?"

**"Not really. I don't know you very well."**

**Dennis slipped an arm around Sara. "Of course. I understand. I'm nothing like him, you know. I'll appreciate you. I'd love you the way he doesn't."**

**Sara shot up and backed away from Dennis. "What's the matter with you?"**

**He looked a little bit frantic, like he was extremely upset and displeased by Sara's reaction. "I only want you to be happy, Sara," he said in a not-so-calm tone. "I want to make you happy."**

**Sara was not familiar with this-a man earnestly trying to win her affection and trust. Even Hiei, he soul mate, had not been so forward with his emotions. She was on her guard, even as vulnerable as she felt, she had to be on her guard. "Dennis," she said slowly. "Do you love me?"**

**Dennis nodded his head enthusiastically.**

**"And, do you understand that I can't love you?"**

**"Why not?" asked the grief-stricken Dennis.**

**She replied, "A) I'm married. B) I don't like you. C) You're way, WAY too weird."**

That seemed to hurt Dennis' feelings. He frowned and sniffed a bit.

"Don't be that way, Dennis. I'm sure that if we got to know each other, we could be really good friends."

Dennis brightened instantly. "Well, let's get to know each other better."

Sara looked at him. "What do you mean? What are you-"


	4. 4 Dennis, Jacques, and More Funnel Cake

_Author's Note: See Chapter One for disclaimer, it's pretty much the same. Also…I really get like this when I have funnel cakes, and I'd sell out on my mom for even a bite of one. No offense, mom._

**Chapter Four**

**More Dennis, More Jacques, and More Funnel Cakes**

BACK TO THE OTHERS

Off in the distance, came the sound of someone screaming. Hiei looked up. "I know that scream. Sara!" He took off running, followed by Faythe and Aragorn.

"Hiei, I thought you weren't going to save her anymore."

"That was before!"

**Faythe sighed and started after them. "Is it just me, or are we doing an unusually large amount of running today?"**

**Hiei growled a little. "It's Sara's fault. She always gets herself caught up in messes like this. I always have to save her."**

"She's saved you a couple times, too, you know."

"Like when?"  
"Like the time you fell in that lake. And when her mom tried to run you over with her car."

Hiei stopped and thought about that. "…True."

Aragorn came up behind them. "That's enough of the trip down memory lane stuff. We have a girl to save!"

**"Honey, could you carry me?" Faythe managed to get out. Her face was red and she was sweating.**

**"Yeah. I don't want you to get heat stroke," Aragorn replied. He scooped her up and started running again.**

**"Are we going the right way, Hiei?" Faythe asked.**

**Hiei whipped around and glared at her. "Yes." They ran farther and faster than ever before.**

**Hiei stopped abruptly and looked around. "Hm…I wonder where we are…"**

**"WE'RE LOST?"**

IN THE MEANTIME…

The screen blurred in front of Sara. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

Dennis put his arm around her and smiled. "See, Sara? We can be together forever. They aren't ever going to find you. You're mine!" He started laughing. "Anything you have to say about this?"

Still crying, Sara glared at him. "I miss Hiei."

**"You MISS that jerk!" Dennis shouted. "WHY would you MISS him? He's no good for you. He brings you down. Makes you sad. You deserve more than he can give you."**

**He turned Sara gently until she was facing him. He laid a hand gently on her face. "You deserve me."**

Sara smirked. "You don't deserve me. Besides, sure it's true he treats me poorly. He makes me sad. But he makes me feel important in his own way. When I'm around him, I feel needed. Every time I talk to him, I'm reminded of his past and I'm reminded of how awful it would be if I weren't around for him."

**"Oh, but you'd never need to make excuses for me," Dennis said. A queer light shown in his eye. His hands, especially the one on Sara's cheek, were shaking.**

**Sara scowled at him. "Dennis, you're going crazy here. I'm not that big a deal."**

**"You're everything to me."**

**"I've known you for three hours and we're made for each other?"**

"I believe so."

"And I believe you're crazy." She thought for a moment. "Of course…I'm crazy."

"Because you fell in love with that selfish bastard?"

Sara's eyes flashed angrily. "Never say that about him again." She hit Dennis and he reeled into the wall.

**Sara nodded self-righteously. "Serves you right. Hiei may not be perfect, but no one is. I love him because of his short comings, not in spite of them." She got herself ready to leave the black surveillance van, stepping on Dennis as she left.**

He watched her leave before getting on the phone. "We have a problem."

Sara looked around. This time, she knew where she was. She calmly stood in line to get into the Animal Kingdom.

BACK WITH THE OTHERS

Faythe looked at Hiei, who, once again, had his Jagon uncovered. "Anything?"

Hiei shook his head. He was about to re-ward it when he shouted, "I don't believe this!"

Aragorn looked up. "Where is she?"

"The Animal Kingdom."

**"She's free? How?" Aragorn asked, puzzled.**

**Hiei sighed. "I don't know. I wonder if Dennis is still alive."**

**"He won't be for long," Faythe promised. She looked unusually serious, but quickly snapped out of it. "Let's get her back before she gets kidnapped again." She started off towards the Animal Kingdom. A hole appeared in the ground out of nowhere. Faythe, not seeing it, fell in. "Help!" she cried as she fell. Her voice became more and more distant as the hole closed up.**

**"Faythe!" Aragorn and Hiei shouted.**

**"Damn! Now we have to save her, too!" Hiei shouted.**

Faythe landed on something soft and squishy. She felt around. "An armchair?"

Suddenly, the lights turned on and Jacques stepped forward. "Hello, Faythe. I have some questions to ask you."

Faythe glared at him. "Bring it on."

He smiled. "First, would you like a soda?"

She brightened. "Sure!"

"So would I." **Jacques laughed evilly. **

**Faythe scowled. "Where's my soda?"**

**Jacques laughed. "Oh la-la, but you ARE impatient! Feisty, too, I like that. Maybe I'll keep you and let Dennis have Sara." He clapped twice and a butler appeared, as quickly and quietly as had the hole. "Give this beauty a Pepsi," he ordered. The butler nodded curtly and slipped off, promptly returning with a can of Pepsi, complete with orange bendy straw.**

**Faythe grabbed it and sipped. "Hey! It's cherry, too!"**

**Jacques sat down in a black armchair directly across from her. "I know what you like, Faythe. I know all about you."**

Faythe smiled. "I wasn't crazy! You've been following me around! I knew it!"

Jacques frowned. "No, Faythe. I have a hidden camera right here," He pointed to her shirt. "Now, for more important matters. Where is Sara?"

Faythe looked like she was thinking for a moment. "I don't know."

"Liar!"

She shrugged. "Maybe so."

**"Do you know where she is?"**

**"Why would I tell you?"**

**Jacques sighed. "I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this." He clapped and the butler wheeled in a cart full of funnel cakes and Pepsis. "Are you tempted to tell me now?"**

**"No! You can't buy me with funnel cakes! Sara's my best friend!"**

"True. But THESE are funnel cakes."

Faythe thought for a moment. "Alright. I'll tell you."

In the meantime, the boys were trying to get Faythe. "Should we start digging?"

"And end up looking like morons? I don't think so."

"Well, we need some sort of plan."

"We'll think of something."

"We'd better."

Faythe at that moment was pouring out everything Jacques asked for. In between bites of funnel cake, of course. "She's at…" she swallowed. "the Animal Kingdom."

Jacques rubbed his hands together. "Excellent."

Sara came up behind Hiei and Aragorn, who were digging. "What are you guys doing?"

They spun around and stared at her. "Sara!"

Hiei gave her a hug and stepped back. Sara held out a ticket to him. "I already bought the tickets. We can go right in."

"But, we've been in there once."

"Well, we had to buy tickets again."

**"This place is a rip-off!" Aragorn shouted. "Crazy French guys and tour guides kidnapping innocent women! And, to top it all off, they charge you TWICE to get in the freakin' Animal Kingdom!" Breathing heavily, shoulders heaving, he sighed and hung his head. "This is NOT the happiest place on Earth."**

**"Sir? Would you please step up?" the ticket taker called. The line had moved up, and Aragorn had not moved up with it. He ran up to her and handed her the ticket. "Enjoy the Animal Kingdom!" she said cheerfully. "Have a wild time!"**

**"Thanks," he muttered darkly. He was having a wild time, all right. Aragorn looked around, suddenly realizing that something was missing. Where were Hiei and Sara?**

Hiei and Sara were busy tormenting the poor people in the character suits. "Aren't you hot in there?"

Winnie the Pooh shook his head. Hiei looked at Sara. "What in the Seven Hells is a 'Pooh'?"

"I don't know. Hey! Where'd Aragorn go?" Hiei shrugged. "Should we find him?"

Hiei smiled. "No. We need to spend some time together without them." **He put his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.**

**"Hiei-"**

**"Shhh. It's just us now." Hiei kissed her. All the frustration of their fight, the doubts of their ability to last as a couple, the fear of being kidnapped again, washed away from Sara. She felt completely and totally happy. Her world was right.**


	5. 5 Selling Out, Losing Shirts

_Author's Note: I love BNL, and that's where the song reference comes in. Other than that, yes, I wasn't joking in Chapter Four about how bad I sell out. You'll see. Read on. Read on and Review!_

_Another Note: Suuki-Aldrea, it doesn't seem as though you need any help to write anything as crazy as this. As far as craziness goes, I feel we're two peas in a pod...creepy smile_

**Chapter Five**

**Selling Out, Losing Shirts**

**BACK WITH FAYTHE, JACQUES, THE BUTLER, AND THE FUNNEL CAKES**

**"Are you sure that's where Sara is?" Jacques asked. Getting straight answers out of Faythe was like pulling teeth. When he'd first captured her, he'd assumed that she was extremely intelligent-smart enough to confuse him. This proved not to be true. She was as dumb as a block of wood, and as frustrating as threading a needle. Yet, somehow, her stupidity still seemed feigned. _She's messing with me,_ he thought. _The little bitch thinks she can fake me out! Ha! And again, ha! She knows not what she is dealing with, non? I will fix that! _**

**"Pretty sure. I saw her on her way into the Animal Kingdom. The guys are probably with her, though. You'll have to get around them." She took a bite of funnel cake. "Of course, on the other hand, she may have changed her mind. She could be in Epcot, or the Magic Kingdom right now. Hell, she could even be in the hotel!" Faythe sipped some soda and belched. "Geez, this is good cake! It's giving me belch breath."**

**"Belch breath? That's alliteration," Jacques commented. He thought for a moment. "You used alliteration on purpose!"**

**"Did not! You French are freaky!"**

**"There it is again. I am NOT crazy! I know you're messing with me!"**

**Faythe cocked her head and winked. "Am I?"**

**"Yes! Yes, you are!"**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"YES!" Jacques was frustrated. Utterly frustrated.**

Faythe smiled at him. "Can you prove it?"

Jacques screamed (poor guy). "That's it! No more games! Come with me!" He dragged her outside. "We're going to find her. She's going to see who exactly told me where she is. She's going to pay for what she did!" He continued ranting for a while, and poor Faythe was forced to listen to every word.

**"Jacques, I think Sara went to Epcot," Faythe said seriously. "I think she saw you go to the Animal Kingdom."**

**"WHAT!" Jacques exploded. He went red in the face again.**

"Honestly. She went to Epcot."

Jacques looked at her. "I hope for your sake you aren't lying. You don't want to find out what happens when you lie to me." Faythe gulped and hoped to God they found Sara.

BACK WITH THE OTHERS

**Hiei and Sara were still kissing. A small group of children had crowded around them. The kids were discussing amongst themselves. "Can she kiss him if he's that short?" "Ew! Kissing is gross!"**

Sara glared at the little kids. "Yeah? Well, I think little kids are gross. But that doesn't stop you form being born."

One of the kids looked at her. "You two are gonna go to Hell!"

Sara bent over and looked him straight in the eye. "Damn straight. We'll see you there."

The little kid immediately started crying. His mother came over and picked him up. "I'm sorry, ma'am. He normally doesn't act like this."

Sara smiled at her. "That's all right. I'm used to it." The woman bowed her head and walked away, leaving the other kids glaring at Sara. **Sara glared back. The kids screamed and ran away. "Serves them right," she said. "Now, where were we?"**

**BACK WITH ARAGORN**

Aragorn placed the lollypop on the counter. The cashier smiled at him. "Is that all?"

"Yeah." He paid and shoved the lollypop in his mouth. When you're lost, you need sugar. On his way out of the store, he saw Jacques dragging Faythe toward s a car. "Hey!" They looked at him and Faythe waved. Jacques, however, took off, tires squealing. **Aragorn unsheathed his sword and ran towards the car as fast as possible. "Oomph!" he cried as he fell. He tripped over something-Sara's foot. "Sara? Hiei? What are you doing?"**

**Sara was half-dressed and Hiei's appearance was indescribable. "We're…looking for something!"**

**"Naked?"**

**Hiei stood up angrily. "Hey, I'm wearing pants!"**

Sara smiled at them. "He has a history of losing his shirt."

"That's from a song!"

Sara glared at Faythe. "So?"

"It had nothing to do with the situation."

Aragorn cocked an eyebrow. "What were you looking for?"

Sara smiled. "His shirt."

**"No, you weren't!" Faythe said. "They're getting it on!"**

**"Don't say that! It's inappropriate!" Aragorn scolded.**

**"We got it on in the Tunnel of Love," Faythe told him.**

**Hiei raised an eyebrow. "You did?"**

Sara sighed. "You didn't notice? Lord, Hiei! I'm surprised."

"I wasn't really watching them."

"You were watching something…"

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"…You…"

Faythe sighed. "Awww…that is so cute!" The other three looked at her. "Love is in the air!"

Sara pretended to hack up a lung. **"Are you trying to kill me?" Sara choked. She gagged, stumbled, landed-on Hiei.**

**"Oof!" he cried. "Sara, could you get off my organs?"**

**"Sorry, Hiei," Sara said. She smiled at him. "Where does it hurt?"**

**"Everywhere!" Hiei said, rubbing his shoulder. **

**"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"**

Hiei blushed. "Not in front of them!"

Faythe started laughing and Sara hit her. "Don't laugh at him! He didn't laugh at you."

"Actually, he laughs at me all the time."

"Only when you deserved it!" Sara's arms were flailing.

**"Not really. I laugh at Faythe pretty much whenever I want to," Hiei replied.**

**"Whatever!" Aragorn shouted. "Let's all get a good laugh out, okay?" They laughed for about five minutes. "Are we done now? Good. Let's kill Dennis."**

**"And Jacques!" Faythe chimed in.**

**"And Jacques."**

Sara blinked. "Why? He never did anything to you guys."

"He kidnapped Faythe, for starters."

"Really? Why?"

No one answered. Finally, Faythe spoke up. "He wanted to know where you were."

"Did you tell him?"

"No." Sara got a look on her face that clearly said she didn't believe Faythe. "I swear I didn't tell him!"

"Uh huh."

"Honest!"

"Right."

"Well, okay. Maybe I told him a little bit."

**"How much is 'a little bit'?" Sara asked.**

**"I said you were in the Animal Kingdom," Faythe replied.**

**"What else?"**

**"Nothing! But you'd love me even if I did tell him more than that, right?" Faythe said sheepishly. She had the feeling that Sara was going to get angry very soon.**

**"That really depends on what else Jacques knows," Sara said as calmly as possible. She was trying to control her temper. She was failing miserably.**

**"Um…he knows your last name, he knows you're married to Hiei, he knows when you're going home and where you're going home to," Faythe drew in a deep breath and continued, "He knows your she size, waist size, shirt size, how much you weigh, how tall you are, your mother's maiden name, your mother's _mother's _maiden name, your father's mother's maiden name, whether or not Hiei has Jagons on his ass, what color the walls are in your room, what color the walls are in your hotel room, who your best friend is, who you secretly crush on, all the names of all your bishis and who you went to the mall with last week. Did I miss anything?"**

**Sara's mouth was hanging open. Hiei had to respond. "Does he know anything about her sex life?"**

**"No! Geez, I didn't sell out that bad!" Faythe cried out indignantly.**

**"What did he bribe you with?" Aragorn asked.**

**"Ummm…funnel cakes," Faythe replied timidly.**

**Aragorn patted her on the shoulder. "I would have done the same thing."**

**"Really?"**

**"No. Not really. Do you feel better now?"**

"Yeah."

They looked at Sara, who was twitching. "F-funnel cakes?"

"Sara? Breathe. It's all right, sweetie."

Sara, however, did not think that it was okay. She continued to twitch. Suddenly, a white van drove up and two men jumped out. They grabbed Hiei and pulled him into the van and drove off. "Hiei!" Sara started after the van, but Aragorn grabbed her. Dennis stuck his head out the window and waved. "Hiei. They took Hiei…I'm gonna kill those sons of bitches!" Both Faythe and Aragorn took a step back. You could always tell when Sara got mad. She used improper grammar.

**"Sara, let's take a second to-"**

**But Sara didn't want to relax. She took off after the car. "Sara!" Faythe cried out. She sighed and turned to Aragorn. "Should we follow her?"**

**"Yeah. She'd get herself killed, kidnapped, and/or raped if we leave her to defend herself. She's in a blind fury. That's a very vulnerable position."**

**"I just wanted a decision, not to weigh the pros and cons!" Faythe shouted. She started to run towards were Sara had gone, but once again a hole in the ground swallowed her. She fell into the familiar squishy armchair. But this time, Jacques did not greet her. A television screen greeted her, showing Dennis and Hiei fighting. Hiei was kicking Dennis' ass.**

**"Yeah! Go, Hiei!" she shouted. She clapped twice and the butler brought her a soda and a funnel cake. She took a bite of the cake and a sip of the Pepsi. "This being kidnapped stuff isn't bad," she said to no one in particular. "Hey! I need ice!" The butler promptly returned with ice. **

**A shadowy figure issued from somewhere in the corner. "Are you having fun, Faythe?" Faythe nodded. "That's good. We're gonna have a lot of fun."**


	6. 6 Playing Games With Pooh

Chapter Six

**Playing Games With Pooh**

**BACK WITH SARA**

**"Hiei!" she cried. The parking lot seemed to stretch on forever. Endless rows of cars in infinity of aisles greeted her every step. "Damn! I'm lost again!" An idea came to her. "Hey…I could take one of these cars!" She hopped into a nearby Subaru and hotwired it. A crappy rap song blared out of the speakers. "Ew!" she said. "Time for Matchbox Twenty!" She put the CD in the slot and jammed the gas. There was no way she wouldn't get Hiei back now.**

**WITH ARAGORN**

**"Okay. What to do? Maybe if I run over the spot where Faythe fell, the hole will open up again. Maybe I should just find Sara, but she probably hotwired a car, so there's no point in running after her. Hiei's been kidnapped. I have no idea where he is." He was thinking out loud (as he often did) and sounded more than a little crazy. "What am I supposed to do?" **While he was talking, he began walking around. Suddenly, he fell down the hole. Unlike Faythe, however, he fell on the ground. "Ow…"

"Hey, honey!"

He looked at Faythe and grabbed part of the funnel cake. "I can't believe you're eating at a time like this!" He ate the funnel cake. "Hand me a Pepsi."

WITH HIEI

Dennis was lying on the floor, bleeding. Hiei was bleeding, too, but not even half as bad. Most of the blood he was covered in belonged to Dennis. Dennis groaned and rolled over. "Stay down!" Hiei ordered, kicking Dennis. Dennis whimpered and rolled into a ball.

Just then, a lime-green Subaru crashed through the wall and mowed over Dennis. Sara got out and looked at the twitching arm. "Oops."

"Sara!"

Sara looked at Hiei. "Hey. Did you miss me?"

"You have no idea."

**Sara looked around. "Where's Dennis? And whose blood are you covered in?"**

**Hiei waved his hand dismissively. "That's not important. Where have you been? What took you so long?"**

**"I'll tell you if you tell me whose blood that is."**

**He sighed. "Most of its Dennis', but some of it's mine. We got in a bit of a fight."**

Sara's eyes widened and she hugged him. Or, tried to. She fell forward and landed on Hiei. "Sara…you're crushing me! Get up!"

Sara smirked. "No, I think I like this position."

**"My organs!"**

"Don't care!"

**"Owww!"** Sara shifted a bit and smiled when Hiei froze. "Sara!"

**"What?"**

**"We're alone in a building. And you're on top of me."**

"And you're under me!"

Hiei smirked. "Quite a position we're in. Maybe we should-" Sara kissed him.

WITH FAYTHE AND ARAGORN

Faythe grabbed another Pepsi and downed it. Aragorn belched. "Now this is the life."

Just then, the shadowy figure stepped out in front of them. "Winnie the Pooh! Oh my God!" Faythe turned to Aragorn. "Don't even say it."

"He smiled. "I wasn't going to!"

Winnie the Pooh watched them both for a moment. He clapped his hands together. "Let's play some video games!"

"All right!"

"Sure."

SARA/HIEI

**Sara and Hiei were…erm…uh…busy. Dennis woke up a little and groaned.**

**"Excuse me for a second," Sara said. She got up and walked across the room to Dennis, hitting him hard upside the head and kicking him in the groin. **

**She walked back over to Hiei. "Sorry about that, hun," she said.**

**WITH FAYTHE/ARAGORN/POOH**

**"I'm kicking your butt!" Faythe said. They were playing Disney video games. Currently, they were on a _Lion King _game that was similar in style and game play to MarioKart. Faythe was very far in the lead, with Aragorn a distant second and Pooh trailing way behind. **

**"You cheat!" said Pooh indignantly, putting his paws on his hips. "I want a rematch!"**

**Aragorn whacked him upside his fuzzy head. "Don't be stupid. This race isn't even over with yet."**

**"Ow! Hey, now it is! Rematch!"**

**Faythe sighed. "I'm surrounded by idiots."**

**"Yes, but we're your idiots," Aragorn said. He hugged her and smiled. "You'd love me even if I was an idiot, wouldn't you?"**

**She kissed him. "You ARE an idiot. But in an endearing way."**

**Pooh was getting frustrated. "Can we just play the rematch? This is too racy for my G-rated eyes."**

**Aragorn pulled away from Faythe and rolled his eyes. "Fine. But I choose the course."**

**WITH SARA/HIEI/THE SMASHED WALL/THE GREEN SUBARU/SARA AND HIEI'S DISCARDED CLOTHES**

**They were still busy.**

**WITH ARAGORN/FAYTHE/POOH**

**"I'm kicking your butt AGAIN!" Faythe said. Pooh was still dead last. Faythe's Timon car crossed the finish line and she did a victory dance.**

**"Honey," Aragorn said slowly, his eye twitching. "Never dance again."**

"Alright, sweetie."

Pooh stood up. "That's it! I'm out of here!" He stormed out the door.

Faythe looked at Aragorn. "There's a door."

"Yup."

"Should we go through?"

"That would be a good idea."

**Faythe looked at the armchairs, the soda, the funnel cakes, the game system…she didn't want to leave. "I'm gonna play a little more Aladdin," she told Aragorn. "Do you want to join me?"**

**"Hell, I got nothing better to do," he replied. He picked up a controller. "I get to be Rajah."**

WITH THE OTHERS

"Wow…"

Hiei glared at Sara. "That's all you can say?"

"Yup." She smiled at him and twirled a finger in her hair. They kissed again. "I've got to say…that was definitely one of our better kisses."

"Man, shut up."

**"Why?"**

**"So I can kiss you again."**

**They played a little while longer, but this time Dennis was fully awake, fully in pain, and fully in vengeance mode. "You think you can just half kill me and then mock me by having…sex…in front of me?" He stood up, looking a little more than crazy. "Not this time!"**

Sara stared at him in shock. "Hiei…h-he's alive."

Hiei was in the same state. "I thought for sure you'd killed him…"

Dennis laughed evilly. "Well, I'm back!" He grabbed a knife and started towards them.

Suddenly, the "light bulb" turned on in Sara's head. "Hold on. Let me put some clothes on. I don't want to die this way." Dennis and Hiei stared at her. She got her pants and bra on before kicking Dennis in the shin. He fell on her and she bit him. Hard.

**"OWWWW!" he screamed. His eyes were bloodshot and his nose was caked with blood.**

**_Hey! His nose!_ Sara thought. _If I hit it just the right way, it'll knock cartilage into his brain! Instant dead guy! They should market that- "It's new Instant Dead Guy for all your murdering needs…" Ha! _**

**"Good-bye, Dennis," she said as she hit his nose with the flat of her palm. He gasped loudly and then went slack.** Sara blinked and stumbled backwards as what she had done dawned on her. "Oh my God, I just killed someone!" Then she thought for a moment. "What am I so worried about? He tried to kill me first! Self defense!"

"I don't know if that will work…"

Sara and Hiei spun around. "Winnie the Pooh?"

"What the hell?"

**"Language, please! I just left Faythe and Aragorn."**

**"Are they okay?" Sara asked.**

**"They're fine. And quite comfortable, too, I assure you. They're safe, as well, and that's a first for this trip."**

**Hiei was skeptical. This was a costume. There was someone inside the costume. Who was it? Where they as trustworthy as they seemed? "Did you kidnap them?"**

**"No!" Pooh shouted indignantly. "I SAVED their lives!" He looked down at Dennis. "I see that you handled him well. Very good! I suppose you used the nose trick, Sara?"**

**"Yeah. Pooh, I have a question."**

**"I imagine you have many. Give me one of them."**

**"Who the hell are you?"**


	7. 7 McChoosing McDonald's

_Author's Note: Faythe's difficult order is a private joke, so I'll loop you in, readers. You see, I work at a McDonald's, and more than once, what with the recent Atkins' Craze, I've had more than one customer order exactly what Faythe did in this chapter. Also: This is the last chapter for Unleashed in Disneyworld, and I hope you all will stay tuned for the sequel that I'll soon be publishing- The Adventures of Sara and Faythe; 2. EuroTrip. The plot's funnier, the characters are more romantic, and someone gets a clarinet shoved up his…well, you'll see._

**Chapter Seven**

**McChoosing McDonald's **

**WITH ARAGORN/FAYTHE/THE ARMCHAIR**

"Faythe, we really should get going."

"Just one more game!"

Aragorn was tired of video games. He went and unplugged the consol. "We really need to find the others."

Faythe sighed. "Okay. But first, I'm hungry! Let's go to McDonald's!"

AT MCDONALD'S

"Okay. I want a large coke. Half regular, half diet. I have to watch my figure. Also, a six piece chicken nugget meal, but throw two away." **Faythe was ordering. "And I want sauce for my chicken nuggets-can you peel the breading off those?-and half an order of fries. Thanks!"**

**"I'll take the McCaesar Salad," Aragorn said. "With a large diet." The cashier looked thankful for such a simple order.**

**"That's 22.51," she said cheerfully. "Thanks for McEating at McDonald's!"**

Aragorn started twitching. "I'm going to McHit you in a minute."

The cashier frowned and took his money. "Yes, sir. Here you go." She handed the food to Aragorn. He took the food back to the table. He set the tray down in front of Faythe, who took a fry. "Mmmm…happiness is French fries!"

**Aragorn raised an eyebrow. "Really? I always thought happiness was being with you."**

**"Aww! You just earned about a million brownie points, mister," Faythe said. She tried not to look too pleased, but her ego got the better of her and she smiled widely. They chewed silently for a little while. Aragorn, for some reason, seemed to be in a romantic mood.**

**"Faythe?"**

**"Mm?"**

**"Do you mind if I ask you something?"**

**"What, A? Honey, I'm eating," Faythe replied almost irritably. **

**Aragorn got down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"**

**Faythe swallowed the fry she'd been chewing. "What?"**

**"I asked for your hand in marriage," he said. He thought for a moment. "Actually, I want the rest of you, too."**

**"Are you only doing this because I'm having your baby?"**

**"No! I love you!"**

**Faythe smiled and ate another fry. "Okay."**

**"Okay?"**

**"Okay. I'll marry you."**

**WITH SARA/HIEI/POOH/DEAD DENNIS**

**"Pooh? Who are you?" Sara asked again.**

**Pooh was silent. Finally he said, "Have you ever seen the old 'Batman' reruns?"**

**"Yeah," Sara replied.**

**"Do you remember how he was a superhero?"**

**"Yeah."**

**"Do you remember that he had a secret identity?"**

**"You're a rich, eccentric man with a secret identity and a sidekick?"**

**"Sort of."**

**"Does your sidekick wear tights?"**

**Pooh sighed. "Let's leave it at, 'I can't tell you,' okay?"**

Hiei stared at her. "'Does he wear tights?' What the hell do you mean by that?"

Sara turned to glare at him. "Maybe he looks good in tights."

"Who cares?"

"I care!" Pooh watched with fascination as they had yet another argument. The argument ended when Sara hit him and turned to face Pooh. "Sorry about him. He doesn't see the big picture sometimes."

Hiei walked up to her. "You're going to drive me crazy."

Sara smiled and kissed him. "Then we'll be crazy together."

**Pooh gagged and covered his mouth. "Ew! Stop!" he cried. "I'll do anything! Make it stop!"**

**Sara smiled "Anything?"**

**"Anything!" Pooh was on the verge of barfdom. **

**Sara kissed Hiei again. "You'll tell me who you are."**

**"Oh! That's cheating!" Pooh said thickly. He was really sick now, nauseous and everything. **

**Sara kissed Hiei again, deeper this time. "You will tell me."**

Pooh sighed. "Fine. I'm…"

WITH ARAGORN AND FAYTHE

Faythe had finished her fries and now she and Aragorn were sharing a milkshake. "I love chocolate! Mm…"

Faythe stared at him. "I always saw you as a vanilla type of person."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I just do."

Just then, the manager came over. "Excuse me. You two need to leave."

They both looked at him. "How come?"

"You two have been here for three hours!"

**"Uh, yeah, but we've paid for everything we've bought," Aragorn explained. He took another sip of the milkshake.**

**"All the same, it's time for you to go."**

**Faythe turned to Aragorn and whispered, "I'll handle this." She looked at the manager with sad puppy dog eyes. "Can't we just stay a while longer?" She flashed him a smile and winked. "Please?"**

**The manager smiled back. "Oh…all right. Fifteen more minutes!"**

**ONE HOUR LATER**

**"You have to leave! Now!" the manager shouted. "Don't make me get the muscle!"**

**Aragorn stood up and drew his sword. "Get your muscle."**

The manager picked up a phone and pushed a few buttons. "Send him in." He hung up and smiled at Aragorn. Suddenly, the door burst down. Everyone looked at the big thug standing in the rubble. He had "Rent-a-Thug" printed on his shirt. And his muscles were huge.

"This the guy?"

The manager pointed to Aragorn. "You know what to do, Jake."

**Jake, the Rent-a-Thug, ran at Aragorn. Aragorn yawned and stuck out his sword in front of him. Jake impaled himself on it. "Any other thugs I should know about?" Aragorn asked, sliding Jake's twitching body off his sword.**

**"Th-th-that won't be necessary. Have a nice day!" The manager ran to his office and locked the door.**

**"Let's get out of here," Aragorn told Faythe. He started out the door.  
Faythe looked at Jake and started crying. "Can we save him?" she asked Aragorn tearfully.**

**"Why? He tried to kill me!"**

**"He has the kindest eyes I've ever seen," Faythe said. She looked into Jake's eyes again and cried harder. **

**"Damn it! Oh, fine! Get him up, we'll get him to a hospital or something."**

WITH SARA AND HIEI

"I'm Legolas!"

Sara smacked her forehead. "This is too much! I can't handle this!" She stormed out of the building.

"What's with her?" Hiei shrugged and they followed her out. Just in time to see Faythe and Aragorn going into the hospital across the street.

Sara ran into the hospital, but they were gone. Legolas went up to the secretary and tried to find out where they went, but she refused to tell him. He walked back to Sara and Hiei. "What do we do know?"

Sara looked at the nurse and got an idea. "Okay, here's what we do…"

WITH ARAGORN AND FAYTHE

"Will he be okay?"

The nurse smiled at Faythe. "He'll be fine. He just needs rest." She nodded to them and left.

Faythe turned to Jake. "Poor guy."

Aragorn sighed. "Come on. We've done all we can." He turned and ran right into two nurses. Or, so it seemed. One of the nurses was pushing a wheelchair with someone in it. They looked familiar. He couldn't figure out why, though. Until he saw bright red eyes glaring at him."

**"Hie-"**

**"Don't say a word." Hiei responded angrily.**

**Sara looked at Faythe and how red her eyes were. She put two and two together. "Did you lose the baby?"**

**"No! Aragorn hurt someone but I made him save him because he had kind eyes." She looked at Legolas. "When did you get here?"**

**"I was cavorting about in a Pooh suit, trying to keep you guys from being killed," he replied.**

**Aragorn looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to the original Pooh?"**

**"I'd rather not say."**

**Faythe smiled and jumped up and down. "Guess what? We're getting married!"**

**"You and Aragorn?" Legolas asked.**

"No. Me and Sara." Everyone stopped and thought about that.

"Mental picture."

"I get the tux."

"Sara!"

Sara smiled at Hiei. "I'm only kidding, sweetie."

"Good."

Legolas looked around at the others. "We should get going. I want to get out of this scrub." They all headed down the hall and out the door, into the sunlight.

THE **END**


End file.
